A New Holly
Almost 2 years ago I started a personal blog on my Holly Payberg site declaring my very large dreams for all the world to see and then set about chronicling the journey towards those dreams. I truly believe that the very act of doing that, and holding myself accountable to what I put out there is the reason that my new company Turtle In a Party Dress exists today because as it turns out the creation of that company was my dream coming true, it just took me awhile to see it.
So today I made a decision to leave that old blog behind. Not because I don’t love it (I really do love it, I poured my heart into that thing, sparing no emotional honesty), no, I’ve decided to leave it behind and start a new one because it’s not my story anymore.
That old blog was written by the old me. I wrote it at a time when, if I’m honest, my dreams still felt almost impossible, when I felt like it was me against the world, living a David and Goliath story, and my entire focus was geared towards trying to “make it” so that I could one day live the dream. But I realize now that things have changed, I have changed. I don’t feel like that wide eyed dreamer anymore. I feel confident in my skills these days (thank you Second City!!!) and am no longer an artist hoping someone will recognize my talent and give me an opportunity. I am a writer, producer and actress entrenched in opportunity, working on some really great projects. I am living the dream now and I need to start acting like it.
It’s true that it didn’t happen at all like I expected it to. I didn’t know that in the end it wouldn’t be some Hollywood big shot that gave me the big lotto winning break I was looking for, that instead it would simply be me finally valuing my own projects enough to green light them myself and take the day to day steps to publicize them, but I guess it’s like that old saying goes “life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
So I am declaring it now. This is it. This is the dream. And on these pages of this new blog that I shall entitle “She’s Out of Her Shell”, it will be all about sharing the dream, building my team, posting my latest projects and celebrating the little victories along the way. I hope you will follow.
For those that missed it and are interested in the journey that lead me to this place, my Holly Payberg site is still up (in fact, it’s gotten a facelift). I now see it as a story about a girl who went on a journey only to find that what she was looking for was herself.